Winning the Dating Scene

By Daryl Gazey – Director of the World Natural Sports Organization

Quite often as bodybuilders and fitness athletes we spend a great deal of time in the gym honing our bodies to perfection and spending a king’s ransom on supplements to fine tune our form.  If we look back to our reasons behind stepping foot into the gym for the first time, many of us have credited the desire to look great for the opposite sex as their main source of motivation.  Go on and admit it, quite a great number of us give that little bit of extra in training those “trophy” muscles that look great in your tank top or skin-fitted shirts.  I would even hazard a guess that some of us casually “forget” to train legs; what’s the point when they’re always covered up by your pants?  After all, if you can't flaunt it then why bother training it?  Okay, you get the picture… We all have different motivating factors invested in the iron game; some for health, some for sports or competition and some just to look trim and perhaps turn the odd head when strolling through the mall.  Whatever your desire may be, it could all end up for not if you don't invest in the “total package.”  Meaning, looking good stretches much farther beyond your time spent in the gym and in the kitchen preparing those countless containers of food and protein shakes.   It's time to get downright honest with ourselves and train those areas of our bodies that don't necessarily involve the weights.  How often have you tuned in your favorite dating television program to see some poor guy or gal who is definitely “socially challenged” or is evidently skilled in the “what not to do on a first date” department.

This article goes beyond the skills of the gym and the actual components of making your body and your muscles stand out in a crowd.  This piece is geared towards the fellas that think they have a handle on their game but could perhaps take their “B” game to an “A+” game in a few simple steps.   Read this wisely and see if you actually subscribe to some of these areas or if you need to have this article crazy glued to your bathroom mirror for review before heading out to meet that buff fitness gal for the first time. After all, how many opportunities do you think you'll have to make a first impression?  We're going to delve into the dating scene here to turn those of us who subscribe to the “Homer Simpson School of Aesthetics” into dating Romeos.  Ever wonder why your phone isn’t ringing off the hook or you just can’t seem to get in touch with your dream date after a lovely evening of dining and dancing?  Do you honestly think it’s because she’s just been “way too busy to get back to you?”  Amidst these humble suggestions, you might find a clue or two on how to maximize your chances at landing the very important second date.

Fire your present fashion consultant?

Okay, let’s get honest with ourselves again and reflect on how effective you’ve been thus far with the ladies.  If your little black book looks like the Yellow Pages, read no further; in fact, you should consider writing an article about Winning that Important First Date.  If you’re presently wearing your jeans with your favorite running shoes to impress that gym hottie that you’ve been ogling on the treadmill for the past four years, you might want to read on.  Pick up your latest copy of “GQ” magazine and leaf through some of the ads to see what these guys are pulling off.  Leave the sweats and your favorite “500lb Squat Club” T-Shirt with the stained underarms for the gym. If you want to spread fashion to your workout attire, try one of my faves, Faremon Sportwear.  Let’s shotgun through this section as it’s very difficult to describe “current fashion.”  Okay…wrinkles are not cool unless the clothing is meant to be wrinkled (great for you guys who don’t own an iron…yes, it’s that thing that heats up that you make grilled cheese sandwiches with).  It’s time to forage through your underwear drawer and throw away the “tighty whities” and replace them with something a little more current to reflect the new you as you never know where the date might lead and always remember what your mother told you about having an “accident.”  Pants should always accompany a belt and if your “six pack” is more of a “twelve pack,” then you may want to opt for a shirt that is best left untucked.  The emphasis should be on accentuating your physique with current styles.  If you don’t plan on running away at the midpoint of your date then replace those running shoes and track pants with dress shoes and casual pants.  

Grooming Is Not Just for Horses

Let’s straighten out a few key points on how not to destroy your winning physique with poor grooming habits.  Not being a woman (at least for the moment) I would lay stock on the fact that most fitness minded women love that chiseled hard body look that they would love to lay their hands upon.  Having a strong and defined physique will put you miles ahead of most of your “competition” in the dating scene but a few little “faux pas” can quickly extinguish that dating fire.  Let’s briefly touch on a few of the biggies.

Hair:  Great if it’s on your head (in a stylish quaff) but not so great when it’s covering your back and neck and/or protruding from your ears and nose.  Although you may think that nose hair is ornamental, most gals fail to see the sex appeal.  I definitely think that the “hairy chest” look works for some but you may find that removing the hair may serve you well.  Make sure you experiment with different hair removal methods well in advance of your big day as constant itching and scratching may give the wrong impression to that special someone.  By the way, if you happen to be “follicly challenged,” please remember that you’re not fooling many with the dreaded comb-over.  Unless you’re Donald Trump, consider going with the shaved head or just have a seven figure portfolio that some women may consider charming. Don’t be afraid to try something new with your hair style such as highlights or a different look altogether. The mullet just won’t score. This brings us to the eyebrows. The only person that looked great with one eyebrow is Animal from the Muppets. If you have a uni-brow or eyebrows that would impress Groucho Marx, don’t be afraid to have them waxed.  Yes it hurts like the last rep of your 300lb bench but the parallel benefits are equally as important in your steps to proper grooming. Recommended:  Hair gel, Hair removal products, Hair wax, Hair Spray, nose hair trimmer, facial hair trimmers and not relying on your mother to fashion your next hair cut.

Skin:  Tanned, blemish-free and moisturized.  Start getting into the habit of a daily moisturizing and exfoliating ritual.  It may sound a little feminine to some of you but trust me, when your gal is rubbing your muscular “guns,” it’s not too cool if she scratches her hand on your callous elbows.  Tanned skin always looks much better than the pasty white look and it will advertise to others that you go outdoors every now and then.  A lot of the tanning products that are available will assist in this area and keep your skin healthy, supple and moisturized. If your date is of the “last minute” variety please don’t go for the $65 Caribbean Mega Tan unless your date has specified that she absolutely loves blistering red skin tones.  Many commercial products available will give you a golden sunless tan without the risk of burning.  Pro Tip:  Skip the lighter shirt colors if you plan on dancing or working up a sweat of some sort as your tan should remain on your skin.  If you’ve just harvested a crater-sized blemish in the center of your forehead, don’t be afraid to use a little cover-up for those trouble areas.  Pro Tip:  try to match this to your skin tone as you don’t want to look like you’re recovering from a bout of the measles.  This may mean that you have to shop in the cosmetics area but what the heck, attractive women usually shop in this area as well.  It’s very important to take care of the most important organ of your body (okay…second most important organ for some of you guys…)
As a side note, you may not be able to see what’s going on inside your ears but your date certainly can…Q-Tips are not just for ladies…Ear wax – never cool…ever!

Oh the Smell…

Nothing wreaks havoc on the olfactory senses than an unsavory body odor.  If you don’t have the luxury of owning some nice cologne, make sure you at least stop past a department store on your way to your date to splash on some of the sampler colognes.  You can get quite a collection of those little tester bottles if you want to remain budget conscious and keep those dollars saved for your next bucket of protein powder.
Pro Tip:  Apply the cologne to those “hot spots” of your body that produce the most heat (easy fellas) as the scent will project properly.  You don’t want to smell like you’ve bathed in cologne either as making your date dizzy or nauseous with your overwhelming scent may not take things in the right direction.  Having a few different scents will keep things varied as an element of unpredictability will work in your favor.  Apply cologne to the following areas:  Wrists, neck, armpits and behind the ears (especially if you’re going to a club where it’s loud and your date needs to frequently lean in to speak in your ear…good one huh?)  Avoid spraying the cologne directly on these areas and apply them by spraying them into your hand and rubbing them in these areas.  

The Pearly Whites

Teeth are quite often an overlooked part of the body that can turn around a conversation if your pearly whites are more yellow greys.  You don’t need to spend thousands on expensive veneers or teeth whitening systems to maximize this area.  Inexpensive teeth whitening systems are a great way to bring your smile to the forefront of the conversation and are available at most stores that carry oral care products.  The mouth, being a very intimate area, needs to project the impression of being cared for.  Many women wouldn’t want to venture towards this area if it doesn’t look hygienic. If you’re one of those unlucky guys who suffer from the dreaded “camel breath” invest in some breath mints and keep them closely guarded at all times.  In fact, this is always a good idea as some of us are unwilling to admit that we may have a breath disorder that requires clinical intervention.

Mechanics and Laborers Take Note…

Hands and especially fingernails are quite often an object of notice to the opposite sex.  You don’t want to appear like you cleaned your barbeque with your bare hands before you head out to meet your date.  Keep the claws trimmed, neat and clean.  Most ladies don’t prefer to hold hands if it means that they may get grease on their clothing.

So Now What?

So far so good… You’ve cleaned and trimmed all your bits and pieces, you’ve got the new “do” going on and have replaced the loafers for some crazy dancing shoes and you’re set for the night of your life.  Hold on tiger!  You also need to prep your attitude before you venture on your date du jour.  If you’ve spent countless hours engaged in meaningful banter with your fitness cutie on Fit Connections.com, you don’t want to ruin the ambiance by spending the majority of your conversation focused on how great you are or how you should be idolized for your manhood and potential in the adult film business.  Find an element of conversation that your date is comfortable with and always appear interested (even though you might not always be).  Even an acknowledging nod and a smile will go a long way in body semantics area as the majority of conversation is through unspoken body language (see the section on itching and scratching).  This would be the time to ditch some common “man traits” that some of us have become all too comfortable with.  
If you need to blow your nose, tissue is what you use and not any item of your (or even worse) her clothing.  Flatulence and other gaseous displays are only funny when around the guys.  Four letter words should be kept to a bare minimum.  Hinting at sex every few sentences may not work well either.  Adjusting your “manliest of manlihood” should be done as discreetly as possible. 
Women often credit having a sense of humor as being one of the more important aspects of a relationship and you don’t necessarily need to reiterate a stand-up routine to bring an element of humor to your date.  It’s okay to joke about your own short-comings (note:  see the section about sex talk) and keep conversation away from potentially dangerous controversial topics.  How she’s going to vote in the next election or what her thoughts are on birth control should be pocketed for the time being; as is boasting about your Casa Nova lifestyle of leaving a trail of sexually satisfied women behind you.

Try to think of original ideas in planning your date as you can guarantee that “going out for a drink” or spending an evening dancing is something she’s likely experienced before.  
Pro Tip:  Avoid the dreaded, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” banter that often ensues in some relationships.  Have a game plan or consult the internet on what to do locally that may be exciting and off the beaten path of typical dating rituals.
Poverty can be a great inspiration as it forces a certain element of creativity in getting out of the “dinner and a movie” rut.  Finding events that stimulate conversation are often a great idea as it helps to relieve some of those first date jitters and it builds a common ground from which to build conversation around.  If you’re not much of a conversationalist and consider yourself somewhat of a bore, you definitely want to avoid the dinner type of setting as you can only talk about how great your meal is for so long.  Attempt to establish some conversation topics along the way.  If you are a cunning linguist, avoid the concerts or loud dance clubs that won’t allow your gift of the gab to shine.

I Spend Way Too Much Time in the Gym to Ever Meet Anyone…

If you find that you don’t often meet women with similar interests or have lacked the social luster in getting out to meet the fitness gal of your dreams I would suggest the very popular internet dating.  My strong recommendation is FitConnections.com as you have the comfort of remaining in your cave while you chat on line with attractive and fit members of the opposite (or same) sex who share similar interests and goals.  It’s a great ice breaker in getting to know someone while at the same time gauging your common interests.  It also saves you a bundle on those sometimes pricey first dates/blind dates to find out that you probably would have rather invested the money in some creatine and glutamine.  

Give it a try and see for yourself.  I’m very confident that you’ll be pleased with the results.  Even to the point that they’re giving you the first 30 days for free!  Check them out and put some of these principles to practice.  Go get ‘em!
 

Daryl Gazey is the Director/Judging Coordinator of The World Natural Sports Organization; producers of the world renowned FAME Fitness And Model Expo.  Daryl is also the booking/talent director of the FAME Agency; assisting fitness models in their efforts in the entertainment industry.  You may recognize Daryl from his myriad of appearances on television, radio and his seminar series across the United States & Canada.  To book Daryl for an upcoming speaking engagement or to learn more about The FAME World Event Series, visit FAMEworldevents.com.

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